Friday's Letters

Dear Husband, I am trying to get everything ready for you before you get home so you can have a smooth 3 hour car ride down to your reserve duty after a 9 hour work day.  I feel so bad for you but I'm glad you're coming home to take a nap, eat, and really just to get babied a little bit before you go.  I always miss you so much when you're gone!  And I usually end up sleeping inside which isn't to fun.  I'm going to miss you love.  Dear ft. Lester, you will be getting decorated this weekend it's been driving me nuts waiting to make you all pretty and festive but I had to make sure I had something to look forward to on my birthday!  Dear Christmas play, I cannot wait for you to be over and you were put together a little haphazardly this year so I hope the 200-300 kids we normally get don't notice anything is amiss.  Dear Weather, you are cloudy and foggy and misty, but you aren't cold or rainy I do not like muggy 60 degree days with no sun.  Dear Abby please start moving when daddy touches my belly you little trickster you like to stop as soon as anyone does and the moment they remove their hand you are at it again!

Friday's Letters

I'm linking up with the lovely Ashley for Friday's letters

Dear Blood Pressure you were a little high yesterday, lets try and keep it down yesterday you weren't bad just a little higher than normal and I enjoy having good blood pressure I'll try not to stress I promise so I think you can do your part? yes?  Dear Abigail  I love Dr.Nakishima, your grandma loves Dr.Nakishima so trying to run away from the machine she uses to hear your beautiful little heart beat and instead kicking it repeatedly when she pushes isn't very nice we were in that office an extra 10 minutes lol *but just so you know your daddy and grandpa thought it was wonderful*.  Dear 7lbs I gained you were not there my last appointment, I've been doing really good I'm almost 6months and I've only gained 5 pounds...so you were not a welcome surprise in fact it was a little embarrassing the doctor said I now have to start watching carbs and juices just to be on the safe side because I was doing wonderfully *although she did warn me I will gain a lot at the very end* and I'm going to continue to make fall desserts and yummy things but I'll just have to control myself a little more.  Dear Daddy I just love you so much for telling mom that it doesn't matter that I gained 7lbs I'm just going to have a nice big healthy baby *like the rest of the Powers women lol* it's always nice to feel supported...though I don't want to make a habit of gaining that every time I go in.  Dear Army husband and I have been talking over the possibility of a deployment, which is pretty much 100% likely we just don't know when yet.  I'm trying to understand that this won't be like the last deployment he has a different MOS, he's with a different unit, he's not active anymore he's reserves so it's not as long...but I don't think I'll be able to separate our previous deployment experience from the idea of another deployment until it's actually happening.  And no matter what I'll probably still be pretty ticked at you for awhile when he does deploy.  Dear In-the-future-deployment I'm not going to let you win, you will not psych me out like you did last time and ruin the time I do have with my husband.  I'm leaning on the Lord, he will get us through it all I have no doubt.  I just wanted you to know.

Friday's Letters

Dear Husband I'm so glad we have our awesome insurance and that you going down for reserve duty pays for it but I really hate you being gone for 3days it's not that fun for me *or you* and Abby and I miss you every second you're not here, so drive safe and come home soon please&thanks PS-I'm so  excited about you getting Sgt pretty soon and I'm so proud of you!  Dear Army I must say we miss active duty, there are a lot of things we don't miss *like husband being combat or being separated for almost 3years*  but we do miss somethings but I really love the opportunity to pair super girly clothes for our little lady with Daddy's work clothes it's just to cute!  Dear Abigail I love that I'm feeling you move around more and I'm trying to be a good mommy and eat lots of healthy stuff and sleep the right way and do everything I can to give you a great start in this world *so hopefully you'll forgive me for my one cup of coffee a day?*.  Dear CA-EDD Department I really hope we get our unemployment extension, I can no longer stalk your site trying to figure out if we will or not or focus on how much we need it.  Instead I'm giving it to God and putting it in his hands *which is right where it belongs* and I'm not going to worry about it anymore we're just going to wait the 10days and then figure it out from there.  Dear God thank you for blessing me so much, we may not have a house, a nursery, Stephen may not have a job, and we may not have lots of money...but he's safe, we have health insurance, we have a family that is always there, we have a roof over our heads, and we're able to have a child a beautiful and perfect combination of the both of us...not only that but this little girl is coming into the world to more love than she could ever imagine but I know she'll feel every ounce of it.  Thank you so much for blessing us with the important things and keeping us together and strong.  You are truly an amazing and wonderful God.  Dear Dianna not only are you my best friend but you are my mother's and grandmother's closest friend.  My little girl is going to have your name for one of her middle names and I think it's a perfect fit you were my mom's birth coach for all 4 of us and you're going to be mine to!  I am so excited that you're actually going to get your license/certificate to become a Doula and you're doing in time for Abby's birth!  Of course you would've been my coach with or without the certificate but it's so cool that you'll be my Doula!  Dear Fall you have really pulled through for me with the weather lately, keep up the good work.

A Catch up post

 Via

Well the last few days have been all kinds of fun, busy, and disturbingly Hot!  Apparently this weekend will be the hottest we've had in 6 years!  I can't even imagine, since becoming pregnant my tolerance for hot weather *which has never been very good I'm a fall/winter/spring girl all the way* has pretty much gone down to Zero. 

 Via

Well Wednesday was just about the best girls day Ever and I am completely and totally sure of that because I enjoyed myself So much I forgot to take Any pictures, seriously not one I don't even think I pulled out my phone.  It started out with mom and I getting ready and husband bringing us burger king breakfast *can you say guilty pleasure?* then we headed over to my aunt Dianna's house and we all piled in her van after hugging and laughing *when we're together we sound like the witches from Macbeth cackling and stuff except we sound like we've also been smoking for 40+ years when none of us has ever smoked lol* and oohing and ahhing over each others clothes and hair and what not.  We then went to a quick lunch to Strings for some awesome Italian food and as usual great service *I am there to much the waitress had no problem touching my stomach as soon as we told her I was pregnant and telling me to bring sonogram pictures next time* after completely Stuffing ourselves we got to our real destination the little beauty supply store that also sells Miche Bags it turns out Miche is going back to only parties and online sales so everything was 40% Off we were sooo excited we each ended up getting a purse and a cover at a crazy good bargain!  I have to say a HUGE thank you to my mommy who got me mine she is so sweet!

This is a really bad picture of my Miche with the cover on, I Love it!  A better one will come!

Then we went to a book store, thrift store, walmart and did a little shopping, Kmart, then Lowes to get me an Air Conditioner *because ya know I'm a grown up now* after that we decided to drive an extra hour just to see a movie!  We got there in plenty of time to get movie snacks like nachos, popcorn, and soda.  And saw the most amazing movie, it was so sweet and so good!  Perfect for any married couple, girls our with their friends, or anyone who is likes to see a real marriage portrayed and see what it takes to keep a real marriage going we saw the film...

Hope Springs

 

Via 

Another amazing Meryl Streep movie and Tommy Lee Jones was as fabulous as always!  Steve Carrell was hilarious and just perfect for the part he played.  You laughed, you maybe cried, you walked away touched with a perfect sense of what real Love is.  That it's not just fuzzy feelings and chemistry, it's hard work, forgiveness, respect, listening, and most of all commitment.  Not just commitment not to cheat or do someone wrong but commitment to work through any problem or obstacle that comes your way.

 

We ended the night with a couple quick stops at Marshalls and Ross, it was an amazing laughter filled day and night with my two best friends ♥

Via

Now today my dad and my husband are hooking up our brand new air conditioner and thoroughly destroying my house...but that's ok lol anything to help with 107 degree days.  Stephen and I have a big to do list today we're going down to the bay area tonight and staying in a hotel and then tomorrow morning going to Mountain View where he does his Reserve duty for 'Family Day' on our extremely limited budget.  Now I've never actually been able to go to any family day like events while he's been in the military because I was almost always a few continents away.  I'm very very nervous but so happy that I can be there for him.  I just want to make him proud and fit in as normally as possible.  Standing out can be bad lol.  But also I'm a little nervous because he wants to try and stay the whole time from 9-3 because he feels weird about leaving early *I'm pretty sure they wouldn't stone him or anything but hey I'd be a bit nervous to if I was still the new guy* but I have to look at this realistically I'm like 4 months pregnant I get hot Very easily and that's quite a while to be outside for me, and not only that but I tend to get sick...All.The.Time. I just don't want to embarrass him, I want to be a help not a hindrance.  So I would really appreciate some prayers!

The Army and the Choices we make

Today I am ridiculously confused and conflicted.  If you didn't know my husband just recently got out of the Army *active duty* and got back from where he's been stationed for the 3yrs he'd been in *Germany*.  We thought we were Done with the Military, with the Army, with deployments, with it all.  We were civilians!  And while it's taken some getting used to it's been great so far, different and we've both had some major adjustments but like I said it's been great so far.  He has some PTSD issues and those are always hard to deal with, we've had to get to know each other again and get used to living together *for the first time in our 3yrs of marriage*.  For me the biggest adjustments where not worrying about him leaving or going back, and the loss of community.  Everyone is all about you when you're an Army Wife.  I had a group on facebook called Hero's Honeys *if you're a military spouse or girlfriend or fiance reading this go request a membership it's wonderful* there were about 400 women in it.  All different branches and my lovely friend Daniella and I were able to keep it 100% drama free which is what we really wanted out of a group.  Well I'm not an Army wife anymore *I'm a veteran's wife* and it feels like some military spouses treat me differently now, my experiences have not changed.  I haven't changed but to them I'm not apart of their world anymore.  And it hurts.  In a way it's also quite funny if I try and offer advice about deployment they kind of shake it off.  It's very hurtful.  And that's been my real struggle with it the loss of a community that I had relied on so heavily while my husband and I were Army.  Well we had his muster duty appointment yesterday and we went in.  The Sgt. that helped us was very nice and he talked to my husband about some choices that he has and different options.

It's looking like my husband is going to join the Army Reserves.  And I don't know how I feel about it.  The positives, pluses, and pro's are amazing and numerous.  But the one and only big negative is that he signs up for 5years.  He has 2years where they can not mobilize him, and 3 chances to deploy again.  My husband had a very hard deployment.  I don't go into details much or talk about it a lot but when I see women talking and complaining about only being able to talk to their husbands on the internet or get a few calls a week or the fact that his mail gets their late or that the FOB he's on is miserable, I wish my husband had that.  He was a tanker, he had a combat MOS.  Where he was at food had to be air dropped to them they ate the same thing everyday for 6 months if I was lucky we'd talk every 3months.  To many of his friends died.  There were to many times he almost died.  So when some woman tries to say I may not really understand about deployments because I'm not an Army wife anymore I get quite offended *sorry different post*.  something else that always shocked me that we civilians totally take for granted...he was not able to wash his ACU's for almost 9months.  The same clothes Everyday  For 9 months. It's hard for me not think wow y'all are lucky when I hear friends talk about 3&6 month deployments I'm like wow! *the poor army has the longest deployments of any branch*

Now please know I'm not belittling anyone's deployment experience no 2deployments are alike everyone has a different MOS everyone is somewhere else.  And who am I to say that my hardships or sorrows are worse than another?  We each have our own.  I'm also not saying I know everything  about deployments.  I know precious little compared to some.  But I know how it affected my husband and myself.  And that's what I'm speaking from.  So I sincerely hope nobody is offended by this stressed out, worried, and tragically-right-before-my-period post of of mine.

It's just had for me to deal with the fact right now that his MOS would change from a combat MOS, his job would change he'd be doing something in an office, the deployment would be shorter, it wouldn't be like the first time.  Wrapping my head around that is difficult.  When  I think deployment I think no communication, I think anger, I think fights, I think us having the worst time of it ever and not being able to communicate, I think of his mail not even being able to get where he was.  I think of our friends dying.  I think of him going on missions all the time, of them doing whatever they could to stay awake.  I'm thinking of all the time he ALMOST didn't make it home.  And I can't say "I don't think I could do it again" because I will ALWAYS do what I have to do.  I'm his wife, and no matter what my status is now, I am an Army wife.  And  we always have been and always will be Army.  But it's scary and it hurts to think about it all.  But we're going to do it.  Mostly because I saw my husband's eyes light up when the man was telling us about it.  I know that he loves to take care of his family, he loves to have a job he can do well, that he can be proud of, he knows how to do the Army.  It's been his life for so long 24/7 that I don't even think he realizes how much it's become apart of him.  Well no matter what happens I'll stand by his decision.  I just had to get all this out.

  And end it with a little reminder that no matter where he is or what we are dealing with we love each other, love the Lord, and will be ok, we're blessed to have a God that will always provide and never give us more than we can handle ♥