Friday's Letters

Dear Husband thank you for being the best provider, friend, and partner I could've ever hoped for.  And thank you for being such a fantastic father you melt my heart when I see you loving on our little.  Dear Army friend I love you dearly and I know you mean the world to my husband, you two have missed each other a lot in the last year.  I am so glad you're coming down to see him, I am not super pleased with the fact that we'll be having company on my first mother's day but I appreciate you calling first and you know and I know that there was no real way I was gonna be able to say no.  So I hope you come down and make my husband super happy he deserves it *and please do not get super drunk I have one baby to take care of I do not need two more big ones added to that equation thank you very much* so HOOAH to you two and I hope you make it and it's an awesome weekend.  Dear Baby Abigail you will be 3months old on Sunday which is also Mother's day and I cannot wait you're growing so much and it's totally a love/hate thing for me.  I hope we can make it a special day for you filled with lots of cuddles and probably way to many photos.  Also please do not get this horrible sickness that we have all had except for you and daddy.  Dear Stomach sickness do not get my baby sick.  Seriously, we have been praying our butts off, washing our hands, bleaching everything, and doing everything else we can think of so seriously leave her and husband alone and I will forgive you for infecting me the past few days and making me unable to hold my little love.  Dear Life you have been kicking us in the stomach pretty good lately.  You know all the soft spots don't you?  And you also know when and why we can't fight back.  But don't worry God has got this so we're not gonna let you win.  So BAM.  Dear God thank you for helping me through everything the last couple weeks, you know our struggles, fears, worries, and choices.  You know what we can handle and what we can't.  Thank you for helping to grow in you.  Please keep protecting my little girl and her health, Amen.

Making the choice

Instead of letting the fear hinder my day
Instead of letting the envy choke my heart
Instead of letting the bitterness flow through me
Instead of letting the hopelessness destroy my 'right now'
Instead of letting the difficult circumstances overwhelm me
Instead of letting it all just be to much
Instead of letting satan win

I'm going to give it to God
I'm going to pray through it all
I'm going to love my daughter unconditionally
I'm going to be thankful for what I do have
I'm going to tell my husband Thank you...for everything
I'm going to make the hard 'not fun' choices that should have been made long ago
I'm going to read my bible
I'm going to listen to my favorite hymns
I'm going to remember that I was blessed just to wake up this morning
I'm going to let the Holy Spirit wash over me
I'm going to thank the almighty for these difficult circumstances because they're making me into what he wants me to be, though I can't see it now they're teaching me something, there's a reason for the tough things.

And no matter what I'm going to remember that he loves me...and I have everything I need

Spiritual high

I'm on a spiritual high right now, I've always known that being a faithful Christian doesn't mean that hard times never come your way it means you're better prepared to Deal with the hard times when they do  come.  And that's never been more true for me then right now.  Stephen's brother has had a stroke and while there is some improvement he is still critical, we can't afford for both of us to go out there in fact we can barely afford for him to go out there *When did flying become SO expensive?* so we have to wait until it's necessary for him to go *which we hope it won't be*, we've have had ongoing issues with Big decisions that need to be made, we've had problems waiting on the Army to do some things, and the baby has been sick...it just feels like one thing after another.  But you know what?  That is OK because the Lord is providing us with enough to get by, enough to hold us over, enough to keep our hope alive, enough comfort and peace to help us get through! And he always will.  It's amazing to know I can Always count on getting just what I Need because he knows what I need better than I ever could!  I felt the Holy spirit just wash over me last night, it was 2:40am and I was up with the baby *who wasn't up but I was watching her to make sure she was breathing...I'm a new mom I get to do that sometimes* and I just felt satan trying to bring me down, make me fearful, paranoid, worried.  Now my great-grandfather used to tell my mother who had her fair share of trials to and I quote " Kelly-Ree you just tie satan up in a tree Just tieeeeeee him up in that tree you hear me?" *and in case you were wondering he was a good old hell-fire and brimstone kinda man from Oklahoma so you can go ahead and re-read that in an accent if you want and to help paint a picture for you he was 6'4 and about 250lbs in his 80's so he was good sized and was always waving a good old King James around* anyway that always comes to mind so I was honestly still shaking from fear I prayed, and I kept praying and then I didn't think that was working so I put in a favorite bible classic the story of Moses not only for some background noise but I always get touched by it everytime.  Then I got on the computer and started googling verses on the Lord's protection and suddenly old hymns started coming to mind and I decided to get on youtube which I Rarely do and I looked up Shall we gather at the river, and then more beautiful old songs came to mind and I looked them up before I knew what was going on it was 4:30 and I'd posted about 10 videos to my facebook page and then started sharing some beautiful and encouraging Christian sayings from facebook pages I've liked.  I'm not usually so vocal about my faith on facebook, I'm not one to just put it out there like that but I'm convinced the Holy spirit was just working within me last night and I just had to spread the joy, comfort, and peace I was feeling!  Then it's continuing this morning, then I saw this status update and was completely floored.

Don't be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone. – God commonly gives us tasks that require His strength and great faith. ~~CALLED Magazine

What I was doing last night and this morning was stepping outside of my comfort zone, and it not only helped me but maybe it encouraged some others!  It felt amazing, I was uplifted sharing the good news of my Lord!  I was people to know how much I Love him and even more how much he loves me!  I need to get outside my comfort zone more and that's something I hope to do with my future blog!  It was a very 'this little light of mine' experience haha!  i don't know if anyone will read this but it felt so good typing it and getting it all out there!  If anyone is and you're going through something I want you to know Jesus loves you and cares about you and he KNOWS you and what you're going through don't be afraid to turn to him and more importantly give it all to him!  Who better to handle it all then the one who created us all?!  Have a blessed weekend!

This Little Light Of Mine Hymn

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Won't let Satan blow it out.
I'm gonna let it shine.
Won't let Satan blow it out.
I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Let it shine til Jesus comes.
I'm gonna let it shine.
Let it shine til Jesus comes.
I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Hide it under a bushel - NO!
I'm gonna let it shine.
Hide it under a bushel - NO!
I'm gonna let it shine, Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Let it shine over the whole wide world,
I'm gonna let it shine.
Let it shine over the whole wide world,
I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.