Fear #1

As a follow up to my previous post on "Fear" tonight I'm going to be quickly addressing Fear #1 and that is Driving. Now this fear came about like this, I hurried up and got my license so i could drive myself to work I learned what u could as fast I could {which was just enough to pass the test} so I never really took the time to LEARN. Now I have very bad anxiety but I've always known how to drive a car, truck, tractor, anything {and by always I mean 5} it's not how-to-work the car that freaks me out. It's the rules of the road! As soon as I'm out there everything leaves my mind and I go blank and freak out and just don't know what to do!!! Now this is only in the city or big towns, out in the country I'm fine. Hills, crazy turns and curves? I'm a pro. It's very frustrating and embarrassing to have the problem! I always try and hide it and not let people know what's why I don't want to go hangout or I can't make it somewhere in town. Or I can't go out of town and visit friends! I've lied about this to SO many people to cover up the embarrassment of what I'm sure anyone and everyone would consider a ridiculous fear because the thing is they aren't me. They don't know how scary it is for me. And I don't know that they'd understand. So I've seriously let it hinder my standard of living. It's not enjoyable to have to be this embarrassed about it! So it's the worst in for me in the sense that it actually affects my day-to-day life, But thankfully for me it's also probably the easiest to fix! I'm going to go to the DMV and get a driver's teaching manual, go online if I have to, and go practice driving in town with my mom or husband or someone! I'm definitely going to take some action and get a hold of this fear!!!!!!!!! I don't want to let fear hold me back from living a beautiful, wonderful, spontaneous, care-free life! I won't let it! Hoping to get no negative feedback from this post and that people will be kind and understanding <3


-Marie