My husband and the Army

Some people love painting, some people are passionate about cooking, others love teaching, animals, writing, singing, acting, etc.  Not my husband...he is passionate about the Army.  They've had a rocky relationship and up until recently I though it was a pretty bad one.  Stephen and I were both thinking they needed to break up.  That's when he got out in 2012, well a year later and he's really been missing it.  We've been talking a lot and I've realized how much he really does love it and miss it.  He's actually passionate about it and that's when I realized the Army and my husband didn't have a bad relationship they had one with passion...when it was great it was fantastic when it was bad it was the worst.  But underneath it all it's love pure and simple.  So while he isn't rushing back into a committed relationship or anything with the Army by signing up they're definitely talking again.  Right now they're just on a little break.  And from what I can tell maybe in a year or so they'll be back together again.  I was worried at first.  We Just got done with all that we have a baby I want her to be raised around family!  We're pretty settled here, really a million and one reasons came to mind why we shouldn't...but then one really good reason came up why we should.  He loves it.  I want my husband to enjoy his life, I don't want him working a job that makes him miserable.  Most people only dream of being able to do their passion for a living and if he can well I don't want to stand in his way.  But like I said, he still needs his breathing room from the Army.  They aren't ready to get back together yet they still have some issues to work out and Stephen wants to give himself another year to see whats out there.  So maybe someday they'll get back together...we'll see ♥

Growing

Recently my daughter has grown to big for her newborn, 0-3 month, and most of her 3 month clothes.  At her doctor appointment when she was 2 months she was 12lbs and 23 1/2 inches...well she just turned 3 months and weighs 14lbs now.  So there's lots of growing up and out and all of that going on in our house right now.  So it was time to pull out a bin and put all the clothes she's outgrown away and in the storage shed *I'd give them to charity or a pregnant friend but we plan on having more children and if we have a girl I figure we'll be using it so it's my way of recycling hah* it was surprisingly difficult to pull all these little things out and look at them and think of the first time I saw her wearing this or that.  It was breaking/melting my heart.  She's so different now compared to the day she was born sometimes I just can't wrap my mind around it.  So somewhere in the oohing, ahhing and yes a few new-mommy tears I started thinking of growing up in general.  Not only growing up but growing In Christ, growing in my personal relationship with him, my faith, etc.  It's hard to grow in any sense of the word, physically you get actual growing pains that can hurt very badly, and when you're growing in the Lord those growing pains may not be physical but they can hurt just as bad.

In my own experience the closer I get to Jesus the harder my circumstances, situations, and just things in general become.  I know that being a Christian does not mean bad things won't happen and difficult stuff won't come my way.  It means that I will be better able to deal with the hard stuff, the disappointments, and the rough patches of this life.  It means that I know better than to give up and give in.  I may get dangerously close to it but that's always when the Lord lets me know he is there.  He never gives us more than we can handle.

What he does give us is the strength to pick ourselves up and keep going.  He gives us peace, his truly unconditional love, and so much more.  It's hard when you're discouraged.  Maybe your job is making you absolutely miserable.  It feels like your marriage just isn't where it should be and isn't what it should be.  Maybe you feel like you'll never get married.  Maybe the life-altering call you'd been hoping and praying for just never came.  Or your paycheck just doesn't stretch half as far as you need it to.  There are so many hard things in this life.  And they're not going to go away Christian or not.  But like I said the Lord gives us the strength to get through.  As hard as it is sometimes you just have to keep praying, and keep waiting.  I think growing up means dealing with the hard things.  As an adult you deal with things you never thought about as a child.  Getting groceries  paying the electric bill, car insurance, etc.  And growing in Christ means dealing with all kinds of things and keeping the faith anyway.  The everyday little things and then sometimes the really big things.

Sometimes all you can do is accept your circumstances, change your attitude, and keep going.  You have to take all the hard things in life to get to the good.  You need to make sure to always remember no matter what happens there is always some good no matter how small it is.  And if we really stop to think about it life is a lot of small good things, random wonderful moments, the everyday kind of stuff we don't always think of as good or special or nice broken up by the bigger more difficult things.  You just can't focus on the big things, try and meditate on the Lord and all the little daily blessings he gives you.

Friday's Letters

Dear Husband thank you for being the best provider, friend, and partner I could've ever hoped for.  And thank you for being such a fantastic father you melt my heart when I see you loving on our little.  Dear Army friend I love you dearly and I know you mean the world to my husband, you two have missed each other a lot in the last year.  I am so glad you're coming down to see him, I am not super pleased with the fact that we'll be having company on my first mother's day but I appreciate you calling first and you know and I know that there was no real way I was gonna be able to say no.  So I hope you come down and make my husband super happy he deserves it *and please do not get super drunk I have one baby to take care of I do not need two more big ones added to that equation thank you very much* so HOOAH to you two and I hope you make it and it's an awesome weekend.  Dear Baby Abigail you will be 3months old on Sunday which is also Mother's day and I cannot wait you're growing so much and it's totally a love/hate thing for me.  I hope we can make it a special day for you filled with lots of cuddles and probably way to many photos.  Also please do not get this horrible sickness that we have all had except for you and daddy.  Dear Stomach sickness do not get my baby sick.  Seriously, we have been praying our butts off, washing our hands, bleaching everything, and doing everything else we can think of so seriously leave her and husband alone and I will forgive you for infecting me the past few days and making me unable to hold my little love.  Dear Life you have been kicking us in the stomach pretty good lately.  You know all the soft spots don't you?  And you also know when and why we can't fight back.  But don't worry God has got this so we're not gonna let you win.  So BAM.  Dear God thank you for helping me through everything the last couple weeks, you know our struggles, fears, worries, and choices.  You know what we can handle and what we can't.  Thank you for helping to grow in you.  Please keep protecting my little girl and her health, Amen.