Friday, June 22, 2012

A pregnancy scare

Not that kind. I am pregnant, but I keep having a miscarriage scare. I've been something-less-than-spotting the past couple days since the doctor did a vaginal sonogram on me. Tonight it was a bit heavier but it's still not spotting. I'm freaked out and scared I'm not in any other kind of pain or discomfort and there's nothing on my underwear. Maybe I'm paranoid? All I know is I want to cry. I want these scares to be over. I know it's in God's hands and it's happening for a reason but I want a healthy baby so much. When I saw the spot on the toilet paper I almost passed out I thought it was over and now it's back my mouth went dry and I was just fighting back the tears. To a newly first time pregnant girl who has been hearing miscarriage stories lately and has a mother who lost her first baby that little spot may as well be a death sentence. It has the ability to bring me to my knees in fear and frustration. I'm having flashes in my mind of waking up in the morning covered in blood wondering what I'm going to do? I'm trying to refrain from going to the bathroom and wiping repeatedly until I get the results I want. But thats not how this works.

If I am miscarrying if I am bleeding all over. I'll know, I'll find/figure it out and I'll go to the ER tonight {or whenever} if it's not if it's just a part of being pregnant of a side effect from the vaginal irritation that took place then thats ok

But no matter what I just need to stop. And breathe. And pray. Because it's in his hands I need to wait and trust in my heavenly father.

Pray for mr? Thank you.'

3 comments:

Our Little Fam said...

Praying for you! Hope all is Okay! xoxo

Erin said...

still praying for you dear! love you!

jenny klooster said...

When I was pregnant with my youngest, I had the mother of all miscarriage scares... I bled like a stuck pig. It looked like a murder had taken place in my bathroom... Skip to the end, I have a healthy 14 month old Lucius. I'm glad you're are doing well :)

 
Jane Whitney Designs