Monday, July 18, 2011

He's Gone

I Miss My Baby, My best friend, My husband

So this is a line Stephen and I love from one of our favorite comedians! lol and it comforts me about all the shit we're going through now :)

Well My hubby is gone he left on Sunday night, I have 5 months till I get to see him again.  Sometimes it feels really unfair that we don't get to live together yet.  Married two years and the longest we've spent together is 1month (all at once I mean).  We've been through a deployment, his bestfriend dying, him getting removed for medical reasons, just so much stuff and I see all these happy couples getting to live together right off, or these girls I went to high school with getting prego then moving in with baby daddys and 'playing house' as I call it.  It just seems unfair and so hard, like we do everything right and its still so much harder for us, but then I remember we're blessed to have these difficulties, theres a reason God is giving them to us.  And we need to be thankful for them and rejoice in our burdens even if we don't know why we have them.  We're deffinitely a stronger couple than most, and because of deployment I've gotten alot closer to the Lord and he's on his way.  I guess sometimes you just have to look for the blessings in something...if you look hard enough you can find them :) I'm worried about him alot right now though, he finally got on a flight (freaking Delta's fault!) and he's going to be late but he says since he's in Read D still it won't really matter but because of all the extra fees and ticket and gas I'm just hoping he makes it to the base ok and keeps track of the money he's spending!  Lol things are always tight after leave but it was so worth it :) I just hope he doesn't get stressed and mad and take it out on me but even if he does I understand and can deal with it, he's my baby I just wana make him life easier anyway I just want anyone who reads this to maybe say a prayer for him!

Here's something I wrote the morning he left and posted to my facebook group

"Today is our last day together. And it is jam packed full of fun lol but I'm trying to stay strong and make it fun I'm up getting things done and I look over and hens just OUT lol dead asleep, snoring, drool everything and I just fell in love with him all over again, I don't have slot of time but I stopped what I was doing to crawl in bed next to him even his sleep he knows what I want lol he opens up his arms and just pulls me in and hes so warm! He kisses the top of my head and I heAr him start to snore again, I close my eyes trying to soak up his warmth, his love, and just him..squeezing him assuring myself he's actually here and trying yet again to burn him into my memory...his presence into my memory so on those nights I wana cry and feel like it's all a dream I know it's not he's real he's just at work...I started crying and talking to him while he was asleep and he said I love you baby in his sleep and I had to get out I didn't wana wake him up"

I really want this 5months apart to be good for us (not easy because I know nothing is easy lmfao) I want to grow more as a person and accomplish ALOT of things I kinda wana make a list but I think I'll make that a page lol ( ♥ Copying from Sarah ♥ )

Here are a couple songs that ALWAYS make me feel better when he leaves, one if our favorite band (Simple plan yes we are 14year old girls at heart ;) the other is from our favorite movie the Crow ♥

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