Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Breakfast At Tiffanys

I reeally wish I could do this oh indeed I do, but I can't because I already feel like puking and I don't think vodka, rum, wine, or whiskey would help right now...maybe beer but nope not gonna do it because the thought makes me want to throw up even more so there goes that idea </3

So my feelings are really hurt (BIG surprise!..Right?) I know we deal with things differently, he bucks up and acts like nothings wrong...I cry and am perpetually in baggy each his own though, anyway we talked about him going back like we always do!  Before he goes back to work we always say hey what can we each do to make it a better experience?  And it usually works great because every time is better than the last...usually...I haven't been a huge depressing, crying mess at all!  I was so proud of myself because I'd already started working on it and succeeded!  He called, the first day we had some rough spots because instead of returning my call he decided to go long boarding!!! ...And i would've been totally and completely fine with it IF HE HAD TOLD ME FIRST so I wasn't waiting around for a call that didn't come until right before he went to bed.  But I was trying to be nice and understanding so I'm all supportive he's got something to do, glad he had fun, when he starts yawning I tell him no no its fine you're tired go to bed.  Well the next day proves to be amazing!  No work until wayyy late in the day his roommate isn't home...ScOrE :) lol and THEN just as we were being all sweet to each other and I was starting to think hey its all going to be fine and ok it won't be like last time at all...his FREAKING FRIEND bangs on the door and I knew who it was going to be before he even opened the door...(so as not to name names we're going to call him Shamrock) there was Friggin' Shamrock being loud, and rude as ever can OBVIOUSLY see we are on the phone!  And doesn't leave just starts talking and my hubby starts to ignore me and wonders I seem all grumpy because I am suddenly forgotten for this jackass that he seems to want to spend his time with and is way happier to chill with than talk to me even though he JUST left and God forbid I thought maybe I'd be missed a little bit, then Shamrock starts screwing with My husband's ROOMMATES video games and I said no tell him to put that down its not his your roommate is gonna be pissed and there may or may not have been a tad of venom/acid in that when I spoke he had to yell at Shamrock and he finally listened saying "ok ok mom shit" AND HE STILL DOESN'T LEAVE My husband is trying to get on skype, still ignoring me Right?  Well then he goes hey I'm on skype, now keep in mind we are not fighting at all, he knows I'm grumpy but I don't want to fight I'm just not saying much well then I go to get on skype AND THE FREAKING PHONE HANGS UP (we talk on the phone and just use the video on skype) and I wait, and I wait, And yea I wait again, and then I wait some more and ya know after two hours he hasn't called me back!  And it says he's on skype so I get on and try to hangs up on me...he hangs up on me...So I try and send him an FB IM (without realizing it turning into one of THOSE girls those horribly disgusting girls that freak out when he doesn't wana talk and have no spine) never answers so I go to bed mad, and hurt, confused, upset, jealous ALL kinds of emotions and I wake up today it's almost time for him to go to bed and still nothing my heart feels like its breaking and I woke up feeling so so sick and I still feel like I'm going to throw up and I feel kind of today I'm going to have a down day, I'd prefer to call it a regroup figure out how next week I'm going to be better, and do the things I've been talking about.  I don't want today to be about being sad, I want it to be more of a learning type thing...I'd like to think that it's going to be very, very,
Very Audrey

I'm going to pull out a couple of my favorite books, 'What Would Audrey do?', 'How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton world', and some other ridiculous self help type things.

Then I am going to put on Breakfast At Tiffany's
Motto for the day;
"I don't want to be alone I want to be left alone"

I'll also probably end up cleaning, and organizing where I live like a mad woman so I can feel that I've made some progress on myself, and my life...which is funny because it doesn't mean that at all it just makes me feel better...and watching Audrey movie will probably lead me to watching them all.

Audrey in Breakfast at Tiffany's, or Audrey at any time such a role model to me she embodies everything I want to be, wish I was, and have tried modeled myself after.

This is a little video I found about her and Fashion so I thought I'd put it in here

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