Lately I've been a bit over emotional, it's that lovely female time right now which I'm sure has a LOT to do with it. It's also the stress of our entire lives changing, I'm not going to go into details but lately I've been reading the bible every day I'm proud of myself and my goal is to finish the bible in a year. Right now I'm in Leviticus and it is making me feel BAD I mean the old testament day after day can be kind of hard to read when it's not going into insane detail about what Aaron's robes would look like it's talking about the evils of the Hebrews and all the horrible things they did, and then talking about what they aren't to do and what happens if they do it. But I think as a Christian it's good to not just focus on the 'happy' parts of the bible the really good parts like when Jesus is born, or when he forgives us for our sins, basically not just the new testament. I mean I was literally chomping down on a piece of bacon when the Lord is telling them they can't have anything to do with pigs! I just felt guilty *but not guilty enough to put the bacon down, ahem* but I find now I'm having to stop and remind myself the following;
1) this is the old testament things are a lot different than the new testament
2) It's good for me to be well rounded and aware of whats actually in the bible
3) I am not Jewish so I can eat bacon guilt free.
I was also just getting SO bogged down in thinking of who I used to be and how I used to be, up until I had my big moment with the holy spirit and my life was turned around and I was changed *Thank The LORD* but instead of focusing on how the Lord has changed me and worked in my life since then and how strong I've become in him...I was thinking of all the mistakes I made all the horrible things I've done and just feeling guilty and horrid about myself...just horrible. And then I read a couple blogs and stumbled on a verse that really spoke to me, it amazes me how easily I can forget sometime that God knows exactly what you need and exactly when you need it.
This is the verse I 'found' Hebrews 12:5 "and you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: "my son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him."
I also stumbled on a Japanese proverb this morning that I adore...
"When you stumble don't get up empty handed"
I've never read this verse before but I love it. What I took from it was that even if you are being rebuked by the Lord it doesn't mean he loves you any less. Don't get discouraged and fall apart because you make a mistake. Just learn from it.
Krista over at Life is the messy bits had a great post today that just inspired me and made me really think about how today and everyday is a blessing and a gift from our Lord and that it's all in his hands and worrying about the little earthly things will do nothing good for you. Check out her blog it is fantastic!
And then there is Hailey, I've never actually talked to Hailey and I'm a new follower over on her blog Coastal Heart, Country Soul *and I'm loving it* and her post really touched me today and just totally echoed a lot of the same feelings that I have this is one of my favorite quotes from her post "I have made mistakes I wish I could undo, I have ventured where I wish I had never gone... but it doesn't matter in God's eyes. His grace has covered it all. My brokenness is made new. His love remains the same." - Hailey, from Coastal Heart Country Soul
what she wrote just floored me. That is exactly what I was crying about this morning what I was tearing myself up about. And she pointed out for me what I just couldn't see this morning that God has forgiven me, that his son died on the cross so my sins would be erased. And as a human being it is SO hard for me to just Let It Go and give it to God I just keep holding onto my mistakes and keep letting them ruin me and run me down and that is Not what God wants for my life. I need to remind myself that was the old me, that's me before I was saved. Before I had forgiveness, before I realized the Love that God has for me.
so Yes. I've made my mistakes, but they've been forgiven and I've been given a new life and I'm doing myself and the Lord a disservice if I keep clinging to my old life and old mistakes I need to live for the Lord and show him how thankful I am for this second chance at a beautiful and blessed life.