Ever heard the song 'I'll have a blue christmas without you' ...well that is my christmas. I've only gotten to spend one christmas with my husband. And I honestly did not think it would get to me like this, not getting to spend it with him this year. But it is. I'm just not excited about anything for Christmas..not presents, shopping, cookies, decorating nothing at all! All this year I can honestly say the real meaning of Christmas is coming through to me alot louder and clearer than ever before. And right before stephen comes home we FIGHT like CRAZY because we're both frustrated and we feel like the other doesn't understand. And especially because we deal with things in totally different ways it makes it pretty complicated. So this Christmas is just not that great. I'm trying to get into it. To get things done and actually enjoy doing it all. But all I'm feeling is tired and down. The husband suggested going to a movie tonight and clearing my head, and just not worrying about it. And I think he's right...I totally didn't do that at all and was talked into helping someone out with a ridiculous and even more stressful situation I ended up getting home by 8 (plenty of time to go see that movie...) but I just couldn't do it I was super frazzled by all the CRAZY that makes not only my family but my in-laws as well look like super, average, functional, applie-pie american Family stereo types...that is not an easy task...like at all...because every end of all the different branches of my family...filled with crazy...the nuts deffinitely don't drop far from the tree around here but thats beside the point. SO now I am holed up in my nice, safe, Ft.Lester where the only crazy is me sorting my felt by color and my DVDs by genre. Rewarding myself with a bag of blue dorritos (ok they're called cool ranch but they were the first chips I had as a kid and my favorite I've always called them blue dorritos) and finishing my 'Blue Christmas' post...oh yeah...butt loads of Christmas spirit around here. Really though I've never felt more like the Grinch in my life...I hate it.
So here is my favorite version of the super poigniant and heart wrenching classic "Blue Christmas" it's from one of my favorite classic Christmas cartoons 'Santa Clause is Coming to town'. It's just so stinkin' sweet! And it puts all other versions to shame in my oppinion so yeah here is what I'm feeling...
BUT ok so just to not end it on a completely horrible note here are some of my favorite pictures and memories...
|This was December 23rd the day before Christmas eve I had officially known stephen for 4 months and 3 days...go me...we obviously were enjoying decorating the tree and paying no attention to the tinsel.|
|Christmas Eve, December 24th, I had now actually known my HUSBAND for 4 months and 4 days! Lol yes we got married on Christmas Eve...♥|
|This is my big 'ol redneck husband squeezing the life out of me and hugging me to hide the fact that he almost (TOTALLY DID) cry at our wedding...that's my baby...♥|
|...And this is me like 3 minutes later realizing what had just happened and in the back of my mind thinking "well I better hold on before he tries and gets away after he realizes what he just did..."|
|"Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house..."|